The Austen Files of an Austenphile 01-22-09

"I have sometimes thought," said Catherine, doubtingly, "whether ladies do write so much better letters than gentelmen! That is--I should not think the superiority was always on our side."

-----"As far as I have had opportunity of judging, it appears to me that the usual style of letter-writing among women is faultless, except in three particulars."

-----"And what are they?"

-----"A general deficiency of subject, a total inattention to stops, and a very frequent ignorance of grammar."

-Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney, Northanger Abbey, 1818

The Austen Files of an Austenphile 01-13-09

An amusing narrative interjection by Jane Austen in Northanger Abbey (1818), with equally amusing evidence, validating this observation, from the pages of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina:

"They called each other by their Christian name, were always arm in arm when they walked, pinned up each other's train for the dance, and were not to be divided in the set; and if a rainy morning deprived them of other enjoyments, they were still resolute in meeting in defiance of wet and dirt, and shut themselves up, to read novels together. Yes, novels; for I will not adopt that ungenerous and impolitic custom so common with novel-writers, of degrading by their contemptuous censure the very performances, to the number of which they are themselves adding -- joining with their greatest enemies in bestowing the harshest epithets on such works, and scarcely ever permitting them to be read by their own heroine, who, if she accidentally take up a novel, is sure to turn over its insipid pages with disgust. Alas! If the heroine of one novel be not patronized by the heroine of another, from whom can she expect protection and regard? I cannot approve of it. Let us leave it to the reviewers to abuse such effusions of fancy at their leisure, and over every new novel to talk in threadbare strains of the trash with which the press now groans. Let us not desert one another; we are an injured body. Although our productions have afforded more extensive and unaffected pleasure than those of any other literary corporation in the world, no species of composition has been so much decried. From pride, ignorance, or fashion, our foes are almost as many as our readers."

I found the following from Anna Karenina quite amusing, in light of what we just read above:

-

"[Anna] read and understood; but it was distasteful to her to read, that is, to follow the reflection of other people's lives. She had too great a desire to live herself. . .She forced herself to read. . .[and not long after]. . .She laid down the book and sank against the back of the chair."

The Austen Files of an Austenphile 01-05-09

They said he was sensible, well-informed, and agreeable; we did not pretend to judge of such trifles, but as we were convinced he had no soul, that he had never read [Goethe's] The Sorrows of Werther, and that his hair bore not the least resemblance to auburn, we were certain that Janetta could feel no affection for him, or at least that she ought to feel none. The very circumstance of his being her father's choice too, was so much in his disfavour, that that of itself ought to have been sufficient reason in the eyes of Janetta for rejecting him.

-Love and Friendship, 1790

The Austen Files of an Austenphile 12-27-08

Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant. To come with a well-informed mind is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.

-Northanger Abbey, 1818

The Austen Files of an Austenphile 12-24-08

[Mrs. Ferrars] was not a woman of many words; for, unlike people in general, she proportioned them to the number of her ideas.

-Sense and Sensibility, 1811

The Austen Files of an Austenphile 12-18-08

Mrs. Portman is not much admired in Dorsetshire; the good-natured world as usual extolled her beauty so highly that all the neighbourhood have had the pleasure of being disappointed.

-Letter to Cassandra [Austen's sister], 17-18 November 1798

The Austen Files of an Austenphile 12-16-08

It is true, I am unashamedly a big Jane Austen fan. Be this a product of growing up with an older sister, or not, I'd like to think my fascination with Austen stems from her genius in writing biting social commentary, unparalleled dialogue, and unforgettable characters. I figure if a successfully published theologian can write a book on Austen, I too may be perfectly justified in carrying on an affair with an, admittedly, "feminine" writer.

I plan, in future, to share the genius of Austen's wit and humor with my readers...whether you like it or not. Enjoy!

"In marriage especially. . .there is not one in a hundred of either sex who is not taken in when they marry. Look where I will, I see that it is so; and I feel that it must be so, when I consider that it is, of all transactions, the one in which people expect most from others, and are least honest themselves."

------ Mary Crawford, Mansfield Park, 1814

Ugh!

What a terrible, and just plain wrong depiction of the third use of the law. I found this in a footnote in a paper that is posted in some archive on the LC-MS' website. I don't think anybody claims that this is the definition of the third use. The only "daily drowning" I'm aware of in Lutheran theology is through contrition and repentence (2nd use). "It is the Law". . . WHAT (!) ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!

This “daily drowning of the old nature” by the Law is what is classically known within Lutheranism as the Law’s “3rd use”. The Law’s 1st use is its restraining of the evil present in all humans, Christian and non-Christian. Its 2nd use is to show our continued rebellion of human against the will of God. The “third use” is its use as a guide for the Christian life. The Christian, in so far as he is a new creation, has no need of the law. Since the new creation is solely the work of the Holy Spirit sent by Jesus Christ and the Father, it has no need of the Law: it is the Law. If the new creation were not in full conformity with the Law, the “new” creation would remain an imperfect reality and could certainly not claim to be a “saint” or holy one (as Paul calls all Christians in his epistles). But the old nature remains. This nature does not desire to serve God, but enjoys its continued rebellion. The Law must be continually spoken to this old nature. The law, however, is not applied externally by the natural order, by conscience, or by government, but by the new creation itself. So the law is actually applied by the Christian internally to the old nature. This is the “3rd Use of the Law”. Stumme writes that “For the mainstream Lutheran ethical tradition, however, there is no third use of the law that stipulates a specifically Christian form of existence replete with distinctive patterns of obedience.” Yet he cannot help but add that “the God of the Decalogue is quite enough.” Those who would reject a 3rd use of the Law end up resurrecting it in some other form. (Stumme, John “A Tradition of Christian Ethics” in The Promise of Lutheran Ethics Karen L. Bloomquist and John R. Stumme, Eds. (Fortress Press, Minneapolis, MN: 1998) p.16)

Calvin and Hobbes

Paul Gregory Alms over at incarnatus est has inspired me to post on a most important topic...Calvin and Hobbes:

Huh?...

Can't Obama find better people to advise him on the economy than Jennifer Granholm, Governor of the beloved state of Michigan? Michigan has the third highest home foreclosure rate in America, not to mention the highest unemployment rate, topping at 7.5 % Should she really be telling our President Elect how to run the economy?

It can only be guessed that Granholm is trying to sweeten any plan Obama has for bailing out GM.

Zizek On the Confusion of Law and Gospel...

Who knew that an atheistic, Lacanian, Marxist could properly distinguish between law and gospel? :)

On the other hand, he makes a good point (not only against post-modernism) that Lutherans, if they're not careful, can fall into. That is, the thought that if we talk nicely, or don't enforce but leave it up to choice, or talk of, say, love of neighbor with flowery, happy language, we are therefore preaching the gospel. Silly Evangelicals! Read Walther...

For further amusement opportunities see the rest of this interview. The guy interviewing him has no idea what he's talking about; very funny. hehehe.

Zizek Being Zizek

This is a recent Q&A with continental philosopher Slavoj Zizek. I don't know why, but I can't help liking the guy. Take it lightheartedly and with a grain of salt; enjoy.

When were you happiest?
A few times when I looked forward to a happy moment or remembered it - never when it was happening.

What is your greatest fear?
To awaken after death - that's why I want to be burned immediately.

What is your earliest memory?
My mother naked. Disgusting.

Which living person do you most admire, and why?
Jean-Bertrand Aristide, the twice-deposed president of Haiti. He is a model of what can be done for the people even in a desperate situation.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Indifference to the plights of others.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Their sleazy readiness to offer me help when I don't need or want it.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
Standing naked in front of a woman before making love.

Aside from a property, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?
The new German edition of the collected works of Hegel.

What is your most treasured possession?
See the previous answer.

What makes you depressed?
Seeing stupid people happy.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
That it makes me appear the way I really am.

What is your most unappealing habit?
The ridiculously excessive tics of my hands while I talk.

What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
A mask of myself on my face, so people would think I am not myself but someone pretending to be me.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Watching embarrassingly pathetic movies such as The Sound Of Music.

What do you owe your parents?
Nothing, I hope. I didn't spend a minute bemoaning their death.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To my sons, for not being a good enough father.

What does love feel like?
Like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.

What or who is the love of your life?
Philosophy. I secretly think reality exists so we can speculate about it.

What is your favourite smell?
Nature in decay, like rotten trees.

Have you ever said 'I love you' and not meant it?
All the time. When I really love someone, I can only show it by making aggressive and bad-taste remarks.

Which living person do you most despise, and why?
Medical doctors who assist torturers.

What is the worst job you've done?
Teaching. I hate students, they are (as all people) mostly stupid and boring.

What has been your biggest disappointment?
What Alain Badiou calls the 'obscure disaster' of the 20th century: the catastrophic failure of communism.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?
My birth. I agree with Sophocles: the greatest luck is not to have been born - but, as the joke goes on, very few people succeed in it.

If you could go back in time, where would you go?
To Germany in the early 19th century, to follow a university course by Hegel.

How do you relax?
Listening again and again to Wagner.

How often do you have sex?
It depends what one means by sex. If it's the usual masturbation with a living partner, I try not to have it at all.

What is the closest you've come to death?
When I had a mild heart attack. I started to hate my body: it refused to do its duty to serve me blindly.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
To avoid senility.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
The chapters where I develop what I think is a good interpretation of Hegel.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
That life is a stupid, meaningless thing that has nothing to teach you.

Tell us a secret.
Communism will win.

Heaven Is An Amusement Park That Never Closes

I found this amusing. I think I especially appreciate "America Land" located appropriately on the left hand of the throne of God, with the "Marital Coitus Castle" coming in a close second. It is from a Blog called Strange Maps which features the most bizarre maps in existence. Here is a link to an enlarged version of the map.



Here is their post:





“Heaven is a place,” sang the Talking Heads, “where nothing ever happens.” Not so in this version of the Afterlife. This is what Heaven might have looked like in the Divina Commedia had Dante not been a medieval Italian intellectual, but a contemporary Californian comic artist, like Malachi Ward, who drew this map. In Ward’s vision, Heaven is a place very similar to your local amusement park. Only better: it never closes, you don’t ever have to leave!
Beyond the Pearly Gates (emblazoned with the slogan You Did It!) is a Nu-Body Machine (1), instantly providing everybody with the body they’ve been trying to shape into while still alive. Catholics are welcome to Heaven, but are confined to a small section next to the entrance (2) where they can indulge their semi-idolatrous tendencies at the Throne of Mary (3). Others can try their hand (and their wings) at Angel Boot Camp (4), which is “great for Pentecostals and Charismatics.”
Those less inclined towards spiritual war could go for the snack bar (5), the marital coitus castle (6), the go carts (7), the dinosaur petting zoo (8) or Joab’s candy shop (9). Joab, a nephew of King David and eventually killed at his behest, was mainly known for his martial exploits, not for his sweet tooth.
Evil is not completely out of view in this Heaven: in fact, the Damned Viewer (10) allows you to visually check up on “Adolf Hitler, your philandering boss, the smug atheist next door and all the vile people you hate” get their comeuppance in the ‘other’, decidedly less amusing place. Maybe in Hell there’s a similar viewer, showing the Throne of God and Jesus (11) and the place where people can line up to sit, as if he were a giant Santa, on God’s lap.
And there’s more. Go to Family Land to chew the fat with pre-deceased loved ones (but wouldn’t you eventually bump into them anyway elsewhere in the park?). Visit the Arena of Answers, where the Illuminatron will tell you who really shot JFK, RFK and MLK. Go to Memory Land to relive your own finest moments or, if your existence was less than extraordinary, to Fantasy Land to relive somebody else’s. In the Hall of Heroes, visit with Abraham Lincoln, Moses and Princess Diana (among others). Visit America Land, where it’s always Memorial or Veterans’ Day.
Many thanks to Paul Hoppe for sending in this map, which can be found here on a blog called Hunting and Gathering with Malachi Ward.